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To snoop or not to snoop? He says, She says

by on July 15, 2014
 

Perhaps you are in a relationship and for whatever reason, you have a sneaking suspicion that your significant other is not being 100 percent honest with you about what they’ve been doing or who they have been talking to. Even if you don’t think they are necessarily cheating on you, you may become inclined to do a little investigating just to ease your mind. If this is a situation in which you can relate, the question that may be driving you nuts is this: is it (if ever) OK to snoop on your significant other?

She says

This is a very tough predicament to be in. On the one hand, you want to trust your partner and have faith in them being honest with you but on the other, it’s hard to shake a bad feeling. If this happens to you, I would suggest that you fight the temptation to snoop for a couple different reasons. First, there really isn’t any good that will come from you spying on your honey. If you do happen to snoop and find that your suspicions were right, you will be faced with what you should do with your newly found incriminating information. Having information that your sweetie is not being honest with you will not only be devastating but it will also lead you to a moral conundrum of how to best use the information that you basically stole. The other reason why snooping is a terrible idea is if your spying leads you to discover that nothing deceitful is going on behind your back, you will have to live with the guilt associated with violating your partner’s trust. Do you suffer in silence knowing that you committed a major relationship party foul or do you come clean and deal with the consequences that surely will come as a result of your indiscretion? Neither option sounds too awesome to me.

If you are questioning your sweetie’s whereabouts, a much better way to handle this situation would be to suck it up and talk to your partner. Explain to them that you are worried about things and why you feel the way that you do. Maybe you will find out that you were simply being irrational or possibly you will find out that your fears were spot on and your significant other will take the opportunity to be honest with you. No matter what direction the conversation goes, it will definitely be better than dealing with the shame, guilt and confliction that would result from your snooping.

He says

When, if ever, is it OK to snoop on your significant other? A question for the ages, without one universally agreed upon answer. In all honesty, it never is OK to spy on your partner although curiosity has gotten the best of people more times than not. I, myself, have even fallen victim to doing it a time or two in the past. That being said, it is my opinion that you avoid spying at all costs. Snooping is something you will regret doing because if you don’t find anything, and if you’re normal, then you should feel bad about what you did. And if you do find something, you’re placed in a very awkward situation because you will have to address information that you gathered dishonestly.

I’d recommend not snooping on your partner but if you do choose to spy, just know, that either way it turns out, your relationship will be adversely affected.

 

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